


Sometimes Quiet is Violent

by Yourlocaltherapyfren



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Josh Dun, Bottom Tyler, Depressed Tyler Joseph, F/F, F/M, Gay Tyler, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm Going to Hell, Josh Dun is a Sweetheart, M/M, Sad Tyler Joseph, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Teenage Josh Dun, Teenage Tyler Joseph, Top Josh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17223431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourlocaltherapyfren/pseuds/Yourlocaltherapyfren
Summary: Tyler Joseph is starting his last year at a new high school after transferring from his old one and from being home schooled for so long. All he wants is to be normal and to feel like a human being among the countless teenagers who are still trying to find themselves out. Will Tyler find who he is with the help of a boy with bright blue hair?





	1. Chapter 1

Have you ever just sat in silence? 

Have you ever let your thoughts consume your mind?

Reminding you of all the bleeding lines? 

It can be quite scary, just sitting in absolute silence, useless thoughts eating away at your vulnerable brain and heart.

There is one boy, however, who constantly lies in thought, countless scars eating away his arms and body. He prays he can find someone just like him, to confide in.

All he has, is a simple journal. 

A journal in which he uses to write all of these terrifying thoughts down.

In which he turns into lyrics.

Which then turns into song.

Ones where he plays the keys beautifully.

Ones where he bangs the keys violently, still turning the song into a lovely piece.  
All this boy wishes for, is for someone to love him.

To love him and his terrifying thoughts.

To love his worthless body.

To love his music.

To love him.

 

Tyler Joseph stared out his rolled up car window, rain pelting the glass. His mother hummed along with the radio, tapping her long red nail against the steering wheel, allowing the car to drive once the red light turned green.

“Ready for your new school, Tyler?” His mother asked, trying to lighten up her son's mood.

Tyler shrugged, scratching at the fading scars on his wrists. He really didn't know how he felt. He couldn't tell much of anything anymore. He felt empty.

His mother glanced at her almost lifeless son. She lay awake at night, wondering what had happened to her once lively son? What happened to the boy who once collected Pokemon with his brother? She didn't know.

After a few more minutes of just the radio filling the car, the high school building came into view, Tyler instinctively sliding down in the passenger seat, nails digging into the soft cushion of the seat.

“I hope you have a good day sweetheart. Be on your best behavior alright?” His mother called out to Tyler as he nodded, shutting the car door. He pulled on his hood, slinging his backpack onto his shoulder. The teen took in a shaky breath, taking his first step towards his last year of high school.

Kids laughter and chatter invaded Tyler's head, more so as he stepped inside the actual building itself. The teen stopped himself from clamping his hands over his ears. He wasn't used to so much sound all at once. He snapped his red rubber band that dangled from his left wrist. 

The teen made his way to his locker, shoulders brought up to his ears, head pounding with all of the sudden commotion. He struggled with his locker, breath quickening when he couldn't open it. No no no no no! Not now! Not right here! He glanced around him, watching kids move out of the way from a group of jocks, Tyler knowing instantly from their letterman jackets.

At the front, a teen with blonde wavy hair walked with such confidence, Tyler knew he was dead meat.

Tyler snapped his attention back to his locker, grunting as he finally opened the blasted metal. He sighed in relief, shoving unnecessary junk into it, keeping his schedule in his hoodie pocket. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the teen leader say something to another teen, just slightly shorter than the leader but still taller than Tyler.

The teen with dyed bright blue hair, the one the leader had spoke too, approached Tyler, the shorter teen, making sure he closed his locker securely before hanging his head, trying to leave as quietly as possible.

It didn't work.

The jock grabbed Tyler by his shoulder, Tyler jumping, a searing pain stabbing into his back as the jock slammed him against the lockers. Tyler shut his eyes, snapping the red rubber band. Hard. A red mark appearing on his pale fragile skin.

The jock glared at Tyler, glancing towards the group, hoping for approval. The leader nodded with a grin, patting the blue haired boy’s back. The jock made eye contact with Tyler, no emotion left in the teen's doe eyes.

The jock looked taken back, eye narrowing once more before he shoved Tyler again, the teen letting it happen.

The group of jocks howled with laughter, pushing and shoving the blue haired boy. The jock looked back once at the teen who pulled back his red rubber band, The loud snap echoing in the jocks ears.

Tyler sighed, pulling out his schedule. He looked down the hall, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Before he can could even take a step, someone crashed into him, arms wrapping around his shoulders. Tyler bit down his scream, pushing the unknown body off of him.

“I’m sorry!” A boy about the same height as Tyler said, his blue eyes filled with concern and a welcoming feeling.

“You alright man? I saw the Josh Dun walk up to you!” The boy said, waving his hands around frantically.

Tyler cowered from the boy, wringing his hands, finger toying with the band.

The backed off but still talked to Tyler. “Sorry about that again, names Oliver.” He grinned as he held out his freckled hand.

Tyler hesitated, remembering his mother's words. “Tyler Joseph.” He accepted his hand, marveling at how soft another persons hands could be. He couldn't remember that last time he let someone touch him. He couldn't even remember his own parents touch.

“New here?” Oliver asked, being okay with being the only one talking. 

Tyler nodded, the two teens now walking side by side, Oliver leading the way.

“So, I’m guessing you don't know who Josh Dun is then.” Oliver tapped his chin.

Tyler shook his head. It felt nice that someone was talking to him.

“Well, he’s a jock favored by Luke, the main leader I guess. Josh is probably the strongest one out them and has got a smoking hot girlfriend, as all the straight guys say. He's the one you really need to watch out for, Luke mostly because he plays mind games but Josh plays both.” Oliver said, looking at Tyler's confused face.

“To sum it all up, he’s a huge asshole who picks on the new kids and you need to steer clear of him and his girlfriend, Debby Ryan.” 

Tyler nodded, understanding more. 

Josh Dun- stay clear of.

Debby Ryan- his girlfriend, also stay clear of.

Tyler added to his mental notes, filing them in the very front of his huge mental filing cabinet. 

“Oh crap . . . Speaking of Josh Dun, you have P.E and last period with him.” Oliver examined Tyler's schedule, frowning deeply.

Tyler sighed. Just his luck.

“Butttt,” Oliver dragged out the t. “Don't worry! Cause I also have last period with you! Same with first and P.E.” Oliver smiled, Tyler feeling bad to having to force a smile.

Tyler snapped his rubber band.

Oliver ignored it. “I have a friend I want you to meet, he’s really cool but edgy as he says. He actually set me up with my boyfriend!” 

Tyler raised a brow as to why he would mention something like that.

“Oh don't play dumb. I can always tell when a fellow gay is around.” Oliver winked, nudging Tyler's side.

Tyler turned red. He had always know he was gay, but he stayed closeted, due to his family being extremely religious. He's been in the closet for quite some time.

“Lemme guess, haven't come out yet?” Oliver asked, perking his hip out a little.

Tyler nodded.

“Not to worry! I shall be with you every step of the way for if or when you want to! Well, if you want to be friends?” Oliver suddenly shied.

Tyler looked into Oliver's blue eyes. “No, let's be friends.” He said, his demons screaming at him, telling him he was stupid. Telling him that he would quickly lose Oliver for being to ugly. But Tyler held his demons at bay for once, letting Oliver pat his back.

“Awesome! Now let's go through one hour of math hell.” Oliver dragged Tyler into the classroom, picking seats all the way in the back.

By the end of class, both Oliver and Tyler were a laughing snorting mess, which even surprised Tyler himself.

Oliver was glad he was able to see Tyler's personality seep through his thick insecure shell. That was his specialty. He could make even the most saddest person smile and laugh within seconds. But with Tyler, it took about an hour. He was a tough nut to crack.

“Hey! Oliver!” A tall boy with trimmed bangs swept to the right side of his face walked up to them, hands shoved into his gray hoodie.

“Hi Adam! This is the friend I was talking to you about.” Oliver nudged Tyler's arm.

“Who's the new kid?” Adam asked, cocking his head, headphones resting at his chest.

“This is Tyler Joseph. Tyler, this is Adam Coldwell.” Oliver watched happily as Tyler shook Adam's hand.

“Did Josh already mess with him?” Adam looked around them, tugging them along to their next period. 

“Yeah, of course. Luke made him like he always does.” Oliver scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What else is new?” 

Tyler lagged behind the two friends, listening to his demons scream at him, choosing which lines he liked best, planning on writing them in his special journal.

“Hey Tyler?” Oliver looked over his shoulder, said teen paying attention to the name he hated.

“Don't panic but we don't have second period together.”

Tyler panicked. Well, in the inside.

“Our classes are next to each other so it'll be just fine. When class ends just wait right outside the class and we’ll be there so we can walk to lunch together!” Oliver beamed at the idea, Adam rolling his eyes.

Right . . . Lunch. Tyler didn't pack one. He barely ate. And whenever he did, his stomach would regret it immediately, sending just the smallest amount of food consumed right back up.

“Uh . . . Yeah, alright.” Tyler muttered, snapping his band.

Adam looked as if he were about to question it but decided otherwise. 

“Alright then! See you in a hour!” Oliver waved goodbye as he shoved Tyler into his own class, dragging Adam into their respective class.

Tyler snapped his band as he took a seat in the back, avoiding the looks from random people he wouldn't bother to know. When the teacher began the lesson, Tyler tuned her out, his screaming growing more and more intense with every passing minute

He already longed for Oliver and Adam, awaiting for their peaceful company. Tyler was surprised how quickly he had even gotten along with them. He hadn't made friends in so long he had forgotten how to. But Oliver approached him. Oliver wanted to be friends with him.

As did Adam.

Tyler didn't understand how or why. But he already felt comfortable with them. No matter how much his demons and insecurities clawed at him, he wouldn't break down on the first day of school, not in front of his new friends.

A long, dreadful hour passed, Tyler thinking he would grow old in this class until the bell rang, nearly making the teen scream. Tyler grabbed his backpack and let all the other kids file out of the small doorway like sheep being lead by a shepherd. 

When Tyler finally stepped out if the class, he was met by two arms flinging around him. “I missed you so much Tyler! I literally thought I was going to die.” Oliver whined as Adam dragged the clinging teen off.

“Yes we get. You just want to see your crusty boyfriend already, damn. Calm your tits buddy.” Adam sighed and rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Aw, you’re just jealous you ain't got an amazing boyfriend like mine!” Oliver teased. Both teens looked at Tyler when he snickered.

“It's actually hakuna your tatas.” All three teenagers burst out laughing, Oliver collapsing to the floor, holding his stomach as he rolled around laughing like a mad man.

Tyler covered his red face, embarrassed by his laugh as he tried to muffle it but only ended up snorting, which made all of them laugh even harder.

By the time they made it into the cafeteria, all three teens were in tears. This made the jock table look at them curiously. Oliver screamed into his hands, shoulders shaking as he tried to calm down his laughing fit.

Adam led Tyler to their table in the back, dragging Oliver by the back of his shirt. Adam had never laughed so hard before.

“Hey! What took you guys so long?” A tall boy, about the same height as Adam, with brown hair, stood from his seat, looking down at Oliver who now lay on the floor.

“Can't breathe!” Oliver smiled widely, wiping away any tears he had left as he got up to his feet, jumping on the tall boy. “Hi Walter!” He giggled as Walter, Tyler guessed was Oliver's boyfriend, smiled stupidly.

Tyler could tell they were meant for each other. They had found each other to listen to each other. To hear. He quickly sobered by that thought. His demons seemed to grin at his downfall. Before he could snap his rubber band, Oliver pat Tyler's back.

“Walter, this is Tyler Joseph. Tyler, this is Walter Hutchinson.” Oliver grinned as they both shook hands. All teenagers finally took a seat at the circular table, pulling out their lunch boxes or bags. 

Tyler shifted uncomfortably as the teens at his table talked to each other, Tyler suddenly feeling left out. He decided to tune them out, listening to the screams in his head instead. 

“Tyler? Don't you have a lunch?” Oliver asked, swallowing the apple piece he had bitten.

Tyler snapped back to attention. “Sorry . . . What did you say?” 

“I asked if you brought a lunch.” 

Tyler shook his head. “I woke up late and I’m not hungry.” 

He lied.

Oliver frowned. “I will personally plant myself in your kitchen and make you lunch everyday if you don't bring one tomorrow.” He warned.

Tyler couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

“He will do it. Don't test him.” Adam said, scrolling through phone, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Tyler nodded. “Okay. I’ll bring one tomorrow.” He snapped his rubber band.

Walter glanced down at the band, looking to Oliver for an answer of sorts but Oliver only focused on his food.

“You guys got another fag at your table now? Hear that everyone? Better be careful men or these fairies are gonna rape you!” A ginger with freckles and a missing tooth stood from the jock table, now towering over Tyler.

The cafeteria erupted with laughter, the loudest being jock table.

Oliver was about to stand up when Walter pulled him down by the sleeve, whispering to him.

“If you're gonna fuck each other in ass, why don't ya go do it in the closet where you belong.” The ginger spat, eyes narrowing at them.

Tyler glanced at Luke, who seemed to be proud of the ginger. His eyes traveled to the jock who had pushed him this morning, Josh Dun. Josh was picking at his food, listening to his girlfriend talk on and on about cheer leading practice and useless gossip Josh didn't care for.

Josh looked up from his food, locking eyes with the doe eyed teen from the morning. The kid scared him. He didn't know why. Maybe because it was because he just seemed like he didn't care about anything. Or maybe it was because the kid had no light in his eyes. Just no emotion left in his boney body.

Tyler sighed inwardly, looking away, staring into space as he tuned out the ugly jock who was still talking shit.

“I’m talking to you, you douche.” the ginger growled as he shoved Tyler, the teens chest connecting with the hard table.

Tyler snapped his band.

“Back off already, Garrison.” Oliver stood, yanking his hand away from Walter. 

“What are you gonna do about it? Huh fag?” The ginger pushed Tyler again, the teen snapping his band.

Oliver stood his ground, a stone cold glare set in place, staring the ginger down.

“Gabe.” 

Everyone's attention went to the source of the voice. It was Luke who had his chin rested on his knuckles, a sly smile engraved on his pale face. 

“Back off. We’ll break them down soon. Not now.” Luke spoke softly, Gabe, the ginger, nodded. 

“I’ll get you sooner or later.” Gabe whispered to Tyler, flicking the back of his head before making his way back to the jock table.

Kids then looked at Tyler, waiting to see him break down. Waiting to see him run out of the building crying.

He snapped his rubber band.

Everyone went back to eating their lunch, the jocks now throwing carrots or grapes at Tyler’s table.

As lunch ended, Oliver kisses his boyfriend's cheek, a lonely feeling flooding Tyler. Oliver waves bye to both Walter and Adam as Oliver links his elbow with Tyler, tugging him along to PE. 

“We’re gonna have to ask the coach for some gym clothes . . . I’ll do it while you wait by my locker! Hopefully coach won't be an ass and make you suffer on your first day.” Oliver said, Tyler nodding.

“Also, try to stay out of Josh's way. He's the only jock in this period so you should be fine.” 

“Why are you helping me?” Tyler didn't mean to say it out loud. He wish he could just shove the words back down but there was no turning back as Oliver huffed with a sad smile.

“Because . . . I don't want to see you go through the same thing I went through. I can't and won't stand by and let the dumb ass jocks break your spirit.” Oliver looked at Tyler, a sad smile being replaced with a cheerful one. “Ready for another hour of hell?”

Oliver fell to his knees and yelled “thank you God!” when coach told them they would be doing health for the week.

Tyler smiled as Oliver hugged him, a huge grin plastered on his face. The coach did hand Tyler gym clothes and told him to go to the lockers and pick one out with the help of Oliver.

Oliver skipped to the locker room, running to his locker and slapping his hand to the empty locker next to his. “Right here! The locker combination is on the back of the locker so write it down somewhere and toss the tape so no one breaks in. Be right back, gotta use the bathroom.” 

Tyler watched as Oliver left the locker room, leaving the teen to struggle with his locker. 

“Need help?” Tyler turned around, heart stopping as he faced the Josh Dun. Questions raced through his mind as his screaming increased, wondering why the Josh Dun was offering help.

Josh stood next to Tyler, only being a little bit taller than the doe eyed teen. Within a few seconds, Josh had the locker open, a triumphant smile on his face.

Tyler stayed quiet, shoving his clothes in the metal locker. It felt so cold when he touched it. It reminded him of the office. The cold office he sat in for hours. Silence consuming him.

“Not even going to thank me?” Josh asked, leaning against the locker next to Tyler's, arms crossed.

Tyler shrugged, stepping back, every instinct telling him not to talk to Josh and to just avoid him.

“I’m sorry.” 

Tyler looked at Josh.

“About this morning.” Josh frowned. “I didn't want to do it. Luke makes me.” 

Tyler remembered his mental notes. Josh plays with minds. Don't listen.

“I hate having to do the same thing over and over again with every new kid. It's just . . . So useless.” Josh sighed, leaning his head back on the metal, floofy hair swaying a little.

“Get outta here you filthy jock!” Oliver pulled Tyler's arm, yanking him away from Josh who's sweet facade quickly changed. 

“I was just apologizing.” Josh said, jaw clenching.

“Shove your apologies.” Oliver snapped, leading Tyler away.

Tyler looked back at Josh one last time, doe eyes locking with brown ones. Then Josh was left alone in the locker room as Oliver pulled Tyler into the gym. 

“That was a close one.” Oliver huffed, plopping down on the bleachers, Tyler following suit.

“What if he was actually trying to apologize?” Tyler asked, toying with his rubber band.

Oliver scoffed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Don't trust jocks. Especially one like Josh Dun. I'm still mind blown he hasn't broken Debby’s heart yet.” 

“What do you mean?” Oliver had peaked Tyler's interest even more about Josh Dun.

“You can ask every girl here and most can say they’ve had their hearts crushed by Josh. In what, the time span of 4 years. 4 years Tyler!” Oliver threw his arms up in the air, coach yelling at him to quiet down as the lesson started.

“I’ll tell you more after PE.” Oliver whispered, Tyler nodding.

Once coach ended class, Tyler and Oliver strolled out of the gym laughing like dumb asses, elbows linked as they pressed the sides of their heads together.

Josh watched them, a feeling of something eating away at him. Debby kept tugging his arm, trying to get his attention. 

“Josh! Are you even listening to me?” Debby whined, her cheeks puffing out. 

“Huh? Uh, yeah. I’m listening.” Josh snapped out of it, glancing back at the laughing brunette. 

“So? Are you going to Gabe’s party or what?” Debby cocked her head, twirling her hair with her finger.

“When is it again?”

“This Saturday! You weren't listening, you ass!” She smacked his arm, crossing her arms as she walked away.

Josh rolled his eyes. She would just come back. She always did. He pulled out his phone, sending a text to a close friend before pocketing the phone and walking to class.

The same thing that happened when Tyler was alone in his classes, happened in his other two periods. Without Oliver to talk to, he kept to himself, scratching his fading scars. He had the sudden urge to make more. He needed it. He snapped his rubber band, the sting of it against his skin only satisfying the need a tiny bit.

Louder his demons screamed.

More of his insecurities clawed at his heart.

Less emotions filling his body.

Nothing left but an empty shell.

The bell rang, scaring Tyler so much that he jumped in his seat, slamming his knee against the desk. He quickly rushed out of the class, jumping into Oliver's confused arms. 

“Didn't know you would miss me that much! Aw but I did a lot!” Oliver admitted, hugging back.

“Music time!” Oliver smiled, Adam joining the duo when he shoved his way out of his class.

“Yup! Let's go before Mr. Drew kicks our ass.” Adam pushed the teens, making both of them let go.

“Oh yeah! Never be late to his class like ever.” Oliver shuddered, breaking out into a jog, Tyler and Adam following.

“What do you want to do?” Adam asked Tyler.

Tyler shrugged. “I don't know.”

“Well, you can be in choir, orchestra or band.” Adam said, opening the door for his friends.

Tyler and Oliver thanked him, quickly taking seats in the back.

“I don't know . . . I’m not that good at anything.” Tyler shrugged again. “Never played anything.” He lied.

“Um . . . Let's go ask Mr. Drew then.” Oliver stood up, taking Tyler's hand as they approached a tall man with graying hair and glasses. He wore a thick trench coat, the sleeves rolled up.

“Mr. Drew?” Oliver spoke up, clearly nervous.

“Yes, Mr. Holt?” the teacher looked at them, eyes landing on Tyler.

“Tyler Joseph here is new here and he doesn't know what exactly to choose.” Oliver explained, Mr. Drew looking bored.

“Then we’ll have to make him do tests, hm? Thank you for bringing it to my attention Mr. Holt.” 

Oliver winced along with Tyler, the two teens slumping. 

“Shall we make it private or for everyone to see? What to choose . . . Since I’m feeling generous, we’ll make the tests private.” Mr. Drew said, Tyler perking up at that. “What are you most interested in?”

Tyler shifted from foot to foot, feeling eyes burning into the back of his skull. He snapped his band. “I’ve never played anything.”

“I didn't ask what you played, I asked what you are interested in.” Mr. Drew sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Tyler glanced at Oliver. He only gave a reassuring smile towards the nervous teen.

“Uh . . . The piano.” Tyler didn’t lie. He could play it without even looking. 

“Sorry, but you can't play the piano. No student can.” Mr. Drew said, getting impatient.

“Singing . . .” Tyler muttered, turning red when Mr. Drew stifled a laugh. 

“Since you choose singing, let's see how good you really are.” Mr. Drew told the other kids in the class to do whatever they wanted, leading Tyler to the choir room.

Tyler stood on the mini stage, pulling his sleeves down, looking around everywhere, feeling eyes watching even though it was just him and Mr. Drew.

“Choose any song you want and go ahead. I’ll tell you when you need to stop.” Mr. Drew sat back in a chair, crossing his leg over his other.

Tyler racked through his brain, choosing a small simple song. He took a deep breath and began.

“Wise men say only fools rush in

 

But I can't help falling in love with you

 

Shall I stay?

 

Would it be a sin

 

If I can't help falling in love with you?

 

Like a river flows surely to the sea

 

Darling so it goes

 

Some things are meant to be

 

Take my hand, take my whole life too

 

For I can't help falling in love with you

 

Like a river flows surely to the sea

 

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

 

Take my hand, take my whole life too

 

For I can't help falling in love with you

 

For I can't help falling in love with you”

 

Tyler stopped, eyes fluttering open as he looked at Mr. Drew who stared up at the teen, eyes blown wide, mouth slightly ajar. He awaited his response, snapping his band before Mr. Drew shook his head.

“You may join choir!” Mr. Drew rose to his feet, clapping loudly with a wide grin.

Tyler bowed, a small smile creeping its way onto his face. He hopped off the stage, following Mr. Drew back into the main room. He jumped when Mr. Drew yelled at his students, telling them to sit their asses down.

Tyler quickly made his way to Oliver, said boy looking up at Tyler. 

“So? What happened?” Oliver asked, flipping off a jock who threw a ripped up eraser at him. 

“I’m in choir now.” Tyler picked at the dirt underneath his fingernails.

“For real? That fast? Holy shit . . .” Adam whistled. “Well fuck me with rake and color me impressed.”

“Ew! I don't think anyone would fuck you period.” Oliver sneered.

“I bet Walter hasn't even touched your white ass.” Adam shot back, a smirk tugging his lips.

“How rude! I curse your love life! Oh wait, I forgot, you don't have one.” Oliver smirked at Adam’s appalled face.

“Hey! If it wasn't for me, Walter wouldn't even be looking your way!” Adam said, brushing his bangs back.

“Yes we get it. Your Cupid. If you got all those magical love spells, why not use them on yourself?”

“Probably because I sold my heart and soul to Crunchyroll.” Adam shrugged, Oliver giggling.

“I completely forgot you did that!” 

Tyler left the two teens to talk and bicker, letting his eyes wander the room. His eyes were almost immediately drawn to the piano, reminding him of his own. It sat all alone in the corner, dust collected onto the poor thing.

It reminded Tyler of himself. On shelves, clean shiny instruments stood to attention, frequently being used while the piano sat in the back, watching from afar.

Tyler was the same.

As kids came and went, Tyler felt stuck in place. Kids constantly grew, achieving things they never thought they could do, while little old Tyler stood in the back. Stuck in a black hole.

Stuck in time itself.

Oliver turned to Tyler with a smile, which quickly faltered when he saw his friend staring at the piano. He heard how hopeful Tyler sounded when he asked Mr. Drew about the piano. Sadly, it was never used. A thought came into Oliver's head.

“Tyler?” 

Said boy looked at him. “Yeah?”  
“You wanna play the piano?” Oliver asked, Adam instantly knowing what he was talking about.

Tyler hesitated. He didn't know whether to say yes or no. He wanted to play where no one stared at him. Where no one praised him for messing up. Just to play a song and to scream.

“Yes . . .” 

Oliver’s blue eyes lit up. “Great! Tomorrow, before we go to lunch, I’m gonna show you something.” He said happily, not wanting to wait for a whole day.

Tyler nodded with a small smile. “Okay.”   
As quickly as music had started, it ended, Oliver, Tyler, and Adam now making their way out of the school building, everyone inhaling fresh air.

“Do you like Taco Bell?” Oliver asked, Tyler nodding excitedly. “We should totally go get some!”

Tyler froze. “Not today. Maybe on the weekend.” He muttered, snapping his band harshly.

“Alright then. Here! I wrote down Adam and I’s phone number. Call or text us whenever. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Oliver waved them off, running over to Walter, the two holding hands as they walked away.

“I gotta walk home so I’ll see you tomorrow.” Adam put on his headphones, walking the opposite direction of Oliver.

Tyler was left alone. Like always. He sat on a boulder, bringing his legs up to cross them. He finally pulled out his special notebook from his backpack, the pack falling to the dead grass.

Tyler flipped to the last page he left on off, uncapping his pen as he wrote down all the words he liked that his demons screamed at him. His wrist itched, needing some sort of pain. He pulled back his band far, the sting not being enough this time.

He couldn't remember the last time he would have done this. He was doing so good, his parents thought. His siblings thought. When he knew he wasn't doing any better. He still had to take all of his medications. Ones he hated because it made him so moody. Maybe this was why Tyler felt so off today. Because he didn't take his medication.

What if he did? How would he be tomorrow? He didn't know. Maybe he should try it. It'll probably even make him feel normal.

Ping!

Tyler pulled out his phone, tapping on the text message sent from his mother.

2:32  
Working late! Can you walk home by yourself?

Tyler sighed.

2:32  
Yeah. See you after work

A single drop of water splattered onto his phone screen. Tyler looked up at the gray sky, drops of water plopping onto his cheeks. He tucked his journal away, slinging his backpack onto his shoulder, but he didn't move just yet. He still stared into the sky, raindrops running down his face, down his neck. 

It felt nice. Cleansing his sins. He chuckled. He knew nothing could ever wash away his sins.

“Hey.” 

Tyler turned his head, looking at Josh Dun holding a red umbrella over his own head.

“What do you want?” Tyler asked, running a hand though his wet hair.

“Need someone to walk with you? I don't want you getting poured on.” 

Tyler drew his eyebrows together.  
“Why?”

Josh shrugged. “I wish I knew too.” 

Tyler shook his head. “I’m fine.” He looked away, snapping his band as he began to walk, hearing footsteps behind him. Rain poured down now, drenching the shivering teen as he glanced behind him, seeing Josh with his umbrella.

Tyler looked straight ahead, snapping his band more and more. He kept wiping at his eyes, coming to a stop at a crosswalk, pressing the cold metal button, crossing his arms, waiting for the signal. He felt Josh stand next him. One moment rain was hitting Tyler hard then the next it stopped.

Tyler felt his eyes being drawn towards Josh, who stood tall, his face looking straight ahead. He didn't understand.

“What are you doing?” Tyler wanted to kick himself for being stupid. He snapped his band instead.

“Being nice.” Josh shrugged.

“That's not what I’ve heard.” Tyler spoke softly, hugging his arms close to his body.

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like how you're an asshole.”

Tyler froze when he heard laughter come from right next to him. He thought he was imagining it so he had to look at Josh to actually see it was coming from the Josh Dun. It was.

Josh chuckled. “You think I’m an asshole for trying to apologize?”

“Oliver told me. He also said that you're a heart breaker.”

Josh snorted. “Everyone says that but I’ve never dated anyone else besides Debby. They only say that because I reject them instead of getting with them like how all girls hope.” 

“Why Debby then? She seems like every other girl you’ve rejected.” 

Josh stopped in thought. “I wish I knew that too.” 

“Why are you suddenly being nice to me?”

“Wish I knew that as well.”

“You wish a lot of things.” 

“I know. It's a bad habit.”

“Why?”

“Because my wishes never come true.”

The two began to walk once the signal turned green, the two being in a perfect sync. Tyler glanced at Josh.

“Are you following me or something?”

“I live around here.” Josh smirked. “Want me to follow you?”

“Sick.”

“You're sick.”

“How am I sick?

“You're the one that thought I was following you!”

Tyler nodded, defeated. Josh seemed to take the victory with pride. 

“Do you want to hang out sometime?” Tyler's heart stopped when those words came from Josh.

“Why? And what about your friends?” 

Josh shrugged, Tyler stopping when he came to his house. He began to walk to his front door, but stopped when Josh did as well, umbrella still covering Tyler.

“They don't need to know. And, you seem like a cool guy.” Josh smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, sending an unknown emotion shooting right into Tyler's heart.

Tyler thought about it for a while. “I don't know . . .” he spoke truthfully, walking to his front door, Josh still behind him holding the umbrella. “Um . . . Thanks for following me stalker but I’m home now so you can go.” 

Josh handed Tyler a small piece of paper, hand trembling ever so slightly. “Think about it . . . Please? Text me whenever you want.” 

Tyler gripped onto the paper, nodding as he opened the door, Josh turning around to leave. 

“Wait.”

Josh looked over his shoulder.

“I accept your apology.”

Josh smiled widely, waving as he turned back around, the umbrella and his body soon becoming a blur in the distance.

Tyler closed the door, kicking off his drenched converse. 

“How was school?” Tyler's father's voices called from the kitchen.

“Okay.” Tyler replied, going upstairs, into his room, closing the door behind him. He threw off his soaking hoodie, throwing it into the corner of his room. He picked out fresh pajamas, walking into his bathroom.

He shut the door, stripping down, pulling on his warmer clothes. He went over to the toilet, lifted the top of the tank and felt around for the familiar sharp end. When he touched it, the itchiness in his wrists seemed to increase.

Tyler peeled the tape back, catching the cold sharp square before it could fall into the water. He never thought he would be doing this again. Why was he even doing this in the first place? He made two new friends, possibly a third, so he should be happy. He is happy, but why is he doing this then? 

He locked the door, never wanting his siblings or parents to walk in on the mess he turned into.

After cleaning up, a long sleeve covering his arms, he lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. His phone lay by his side, the two slips of paper with phone numbers on them right next to it. Tyler considered texting them, but what would he even say? He was so unoriginal when it came to texting. Maybe that's why he stopped talking to friends over the phone so long ago.

Tyler turned onto his side, now looking out the window to the dark sky that still poured down. He tucked his hands under his head, curling in on himself, not bothering to pull the sheets over him.

A knock came from his door, and he only knew it would be his father checking in on him. Tyler didn't say anything. His father left.

The teen stared at the phone numbers, pondering who he would even talk to first. Instead, he shoved the phone numbers into his bedside drawer, plugging his phone to charge. He lay back down, shutting his eyes as he fell into another dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning of puking! If you don't like that stuff read till "He waved off Oliver who tried to stay, but eventually obeyed and left." To, "You alright in there, man?".

Josh Dun woke up from another dream. The same exact one. The same one he’s had for a month. 

He sat up in bed, looking at his clock, seeing 4:47 flash. Outside, the world was still dark and gloomy, rain gently hitting his window.

He grabbed his phone, turning it on in hopes he texted. He didn't. The teen frowned, running a hand through his blue hair. He would dye it again soon. He just couldn't decide what color.

Josh lay on his back, phone held above his face, scrolling through useless social media. Then he stopped. His thumb froze at the name BathTimeTyler, the profile picture having a blurred out photo of the Tyler Joseph. He clicked on it, hoping he could talk to him through there.

The account was deserted. 

The last photo that was posted was 5 years ago. It was a photo of Tyler Joseph smiling widely, but something was off. Tyler looked empty. Just like how he does now. 

Josh shivered, tapping out of the account, Tyler's empty eyes resonating in his mind. Just as he was about to put his phone away, his phone pinged. He quickly scrambled to see who it was, hoping it was Tyler. It wasn't.

It was his close friend, Walter. 

WallyBoi  
4:44  
Sorry about not replying yesterday. You wanted to know more about Tyler?

Spooky Jim  
4:45  
Yeah, sounds weird

Wallyboi  
4:45  
A bit yea, butttt even i don't know much about him! He’s hella quiet

Spooky Jim  
4:46  
I know. I tried talking to him yesterday but oliver got in the way and i even walked him home. He was planning on walking in the rain withOUT AN UMBRELLA

Wallyboi  
4:47  
Why are you so interested in Tyler?

Spooky Jim  
4:47  
I really don't know

Wallyboi  
4:47  
Is it because of your dreams? 

Spooky Jim  
4:48  
I think so? I mean, he just looks so much like the guy in my dreams and its scary

Wallyboi  
4:48  
Well, if it is, you should really try to avoid Luke and make friends with Tyler

Spooky Jim  
4:49  
I would, if Oliver wouldn't keep getting in the way

Wallyboi  
4:49  
I’ll talk to him about it, now, get some more sleep

Spooky Jim  
4:49  
Yeah, see ya later

Josh set his phone down, staring up at the ceiling. It really was insane. He kept having dreams of someone who looked exactly like Tyler. He didn't understand it though. He had never met Tyler until yesterday.

Josh really did feel bad about the locker situation, but what else was he supposed to do? Luke would beat the crap out of him if Josh didn't listen. He was tired of it. Then there was Debby. He wanted to hang out with Tyler at school, but he knew she would grow jealous. Hell, she got jealous when he looked at another girl who was asking for directions.

Josh rolled over in bed, sighing through his nose. He was bored and wanted something to do. He got up from his warm bed, pulling on a red hoodie. He left his room, slowly making his way to the basement, closing the door behind him when his socked foot touched the wooden stair.

He flicked on the lights, and instead of the main light turning on, yellow Christmas lights filled the room with color. They hanged from the ceiling, and down the walls. A bean bag sat all alone in the corner of the room, next to a dusty bookshelf filled with old movies. An old t.v. sat leaning against the wall, both it and the console collected with dust.

Josh looked around the familiar sight, wondering why he had abandoned it. This was his getaway when his family became too loud. Or when guests would come over he would hide down here, in safety. He had always wanted someone to share it with, to ease his crippling anxiety, but he never found anyone worthy of seeing it.

Not even Debby has stepped foot or even heard of it.

Now that he was back, he felt a sudden feeling of loneliness. Of wanting someone by his side. Someone who wasn't Debby. He liked her, but not enough.  
Josh sat down in the old bean bag chair. He leaned back, his head gently hitting the wall. 

He wondered. Would he even meet his soul mate? He chuckled at his own thoughts, muttering how stupid he sounds. He closed his eyes, the image of Tyler Joseph seeping into his mind.

\----

Tyler grabbed an apple from the refrigerator, shoving it into his backpack. He pulled on his shoes, tugging his dark green hoodie sleeves over his wrists.

“Take you medicine, hon.” His mom said, handing his a white pill and a blue pill with a cup of water.

Tyler took a long sip of water, shoving the pills into his mouth as he swallowed.

“Open.” 

Tyler sighed, opening his mouth to show her he had taken his pills.

“Alright. I’ll be there in just a moment. Have to go get the keys.” She smiled, disappearing down the hall.

Tyler opened the door, a cold gust of wind slapping him in the face. He walked down the path, stopping by the green lush bushes. He spat out the pills that laid hidden under his tongue. He waited by the car in the light drizzle until he saw the familiar red umbrella in the distance.

Tyler looked back at the door, hoping for his mom to hurry up so they could leave. He groaned in frustration when he could hear the footsteps next to him stop.

“Hey.”

Tyler didn't respond. Not even when Josh held the umbrella over his head. 

“Good morning? I guess . . .” Josh muttered, rubbing his eyes.

Tyler brightened up when he heard the car door unlock. “Yeah, whatever.” He mumbled, opening the wet door.

Josh seemed hurt by Tyler's actions so he nodded and began to walk away until Tyler's mom appeared in the doorway.

“Oh! Is that a friend? Tyler, can you walk with him? Your brother is sick and I might have to take him to the emergency room.” His mom, was wiping her hand with a rag.

Tyler slumped his shoulders, glancing at Josh who was looking at his mom nervously. “Fine. I’ll see you later.” He shut the car door, glaring at Josh who had a smug look on his face. 

“Remember! Best behavior!” His mother said before closing the door, tending to her sick son. 

“Guess who's gotta walk with me now?” Josh sneered, catching up to the mad teen. He held the umbrella between them, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Tyler sighed, still not saying anything to the blue head. He wasn't going to lie, Josh’s hair was incredibly fluffy and he really wanted to run his hands through it.

“Why aren't you talking?” Josh asked.

Tyler shrugged.

“Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?” Josh teased, cocking his head. 

Tyler snorted. “Nope. I just have to deal with you until we get to school.”

Josh brought his hand to his heart, gasping. “You wound me!” 

A smile tugged at Tyler's lips. “Good.”

Josh’s eyes crinkled at he laughed, Tyler staring at him.

Tyler caught himself staring and quickly looked away, messing with his hoodie string instead. 

“Hey . . .”

“Hay is for horses.” Tyler remarked, grinning when Josh scoffed.

“Very funny. Anyways, wanna help me dye my hair one day?” Josh asked, running a hand through his blue hair.

“Why?” Tyler cocked his head.

Josh shrugged. “I want to change it another color and I thought it might be a good opportunity for us to hang out.”

Tyler thought about it. “Maybe . . . But you barely know me.” 

“And that's why I want us to hang out! We can even Netflix and Chill.” Josh smirked playfully, nudging Tyler with his elbow.

Tyler couldn't help as he giggled. Actually giggled. 

Josh stared at him with wide eyes, an unknown red creeping onto his face. 

Doe eyes locked onto brown eyes, the two stopping momentarily. Josh’s hand trembled as he held the umbrella, taking just the slightest step forward to Tyler, the younger taking an intake of breath.

“Stop right there!” Both teens spun around as Oliver crashed right into Tyler, arms wrapping around his head protectively. “Back off, Dun! I know your mind tricks!” He growled, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“Maybe you should get off of Tyler, babe.” Walter pulled Oliver off the confused teen.

Josh stood there, dumbfounded by what just happened. Why had he stepped closer to Tyler? He's only ever done something like that when he's about to kiss Debby. Josh seemed to turn a darker shade of red as Oliver continued to try and fight Josh.

“Come on, Oliver, we have to get to school.” Walter dragged his boyfriend, Oliver dragging Tyler behind him.

“Walter? Can I talk to you for a sec?” Josh stuttered, shaking his head as he followed them.

“Sure. You go on ahead with Tyler, I’ll see you at lunch.” Walter pecked Oliver's lips, the bleach haired teen nodding as he hooked Tyler's elbow with his own and skipped the rest of the way to school, Tyler lagging behind.

“What is it man?” Walter asked, adjusting his backpack.

Josh looked around frantically, searching for words. “I think I was just about to k-kiss Tyler . . .”

Walter looked at him with wide black eyes. “You can't be serious! You just met the guy! Hell, he doesn't even consider you his friend yet!” 

“I know! I think I'm dying.” Josh slapped a hand over his forehead, groaning as he cupped his face with both hands.

“You're not dying, at least not yet, but there is seriously something wrong with you.” Walter shook his head, sighing. 

Josh nodded in agreement. “I still want to be friends with him though.”

Walter sputtered. “Still?! What if it's just a stupid dream? All dreams are just made of things from your brain, so it's all pretty useless. You do know it's going to take a while to be this kid's friend, right? He might not even accept you . . . You’re still willing to go through with it?”

Josh nodded confidently. “Yeah. I’m going to do everything I can to help him.”

“What was that for, Tyler?! I thought I told you to stay away from Josh?” Oliver panted, leaning against his locker as Tyler opened his own.

“My mom made me walk with him! I didn't want to!” Tyler defended himself, slamming his locker shut once he had everything in order.

“You could've just run away like a normal person!” Oliver argued, pushing Tyler to first period to avoid the jocks.

“Okay, but what about when Josh is with Walter? Doesn't that piss you off?” Tyler asked, getting more mad by the second. Maybe he should have taken his medication.

“It does! I keep trying to talk him out of it but he doesn't care. They've been friends since forever.” Oliver huffed, taking a seat near the back.

Tyler plopped down at his seat, grunting as he rolled up his sleeves into his palms, resting his chin on one. He kept a scowl on his face during class, Oliver trying to get him to talk or laugh.

Soon, class ended, the two boy's not having said anything to each other during the time. Tyler began to regret his decision of not taking his medication for now he was more tired and cranky. 

Tyler didn't even say hello or bye to Adam or Oliver as he went straight to his next class, leaving the two teens confused and concerned.

Tyler couldn't even remember as to why he was mad in the first place. Maybe it was because Oliver yelled at him. Maybe it was because it was Tuesday and still raining. He didn't know. Instead of paying attention in class, he pulled out his special journal and began to scribble down useless thoughts and words.

A blonde girl glanced at him through the corner of her eye, her nail tapping against the wooden desk as she tried to lean towards him, eyes catching scribbled handwriting. 

Tyler caught her looking. So he hunched over the journal, moving it out of her field of vision. He didn't want anyone looking at it. He wasn't ready.

The blonde girl huffed and turned away, determined to get to know the new kid one of these days.

As Tyler wrote and wrote, the class bell eventually rang, scaring the wits out of the teen. Thankfully, he didn't ruin his paper. He quickly packed up his things, leaving the class as one of the last kids. He frowned as he saw Oliver walk up to him.

“Remember that thing we wanted to show you yesterday?” Oliver asked, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie.

“Yeah.” Tyler answered truthfully, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Well come on. We're hoping it'll make you feel better.” Oliver hesitated as he reached out for his hand, but flinched and held himself back.

He began to walk away with Adam, Tyler contemplating whether he should ditch them or follow. Tyler found himself drawn towards his friends. 

Oliver glanced over his shoulder, wondering why Tyler was such in a pissy mood. He really wanted to ask but Adam had already advised him not too. He lit up at the thought of Tyler being happy with their little gift.

The trio walked up to a door that seemed to be long forgotten. Oliver struggled with the door for a bit, making Tyler chuckle and cross his arms. Finally, Adam scooted Oliver away and opened the resistant door. 

The two lightly pushed Tyler inside the room, uncovering his eyes. Tyler gaped at the soundproof room, a shiny piano standing right in the middle of the room. “We cleaned it up yesterday, and we're hoping you like it.” Oliver smiled shyly as Tyler sat on the piano bench, lifting the lid as his fingers delicately traced the keys.

“How did you guys find this?” Tyler asked, fingertips itching to play.

“Me and Adam accidentally stumbled upon in freshman year and we’ve used this room as an escape from school life.” Oliver explained. “Do you like it?”

Tyler nodded excitedly, looking up at Oliver and Adam with a wide smile. “I love it! Thank you guys!” He laughed as his friends tackled him in a hug, all three of them returning back to normal. Well, as much normal Tyler could revert to.

“We should go get our lunch and eat here! Tomorrow we should leave campus and go get some Taco Bell.” Oliver bounced on the balls of his heels.

Tyler nodded. “Yeah. Sounds good.” 

“And we get out early tomorrow! I’m so happy.” Oliver beamed.

“Alright, let's go before lunch ends. You coming, Tyler?” Adam asked, hands in pockets as always.

“Already got my lunch. You guys go ahead.” Tyler said, still admiring the piano.

“Okay, see you in a bit. Let's go!” Oliver smiled, dragging Adam behind him as they closed the door.

Tyler stared at the keys, tempted to play. And so he did. He played quietly and softly, nodding his head as the lyrics flowed around in his mind like a swift river. What he didn't know, was with just the tiniest crack of the door, the notes filled the mind of a blue haired boy, almost as if in a trance.

A wave of emotions hit the boy all at once, sadness and emptiness hitting him right in the heart. So much emotions came from the notes themselves, from his fingertips. Who knew that the new kid who barely said anything and seemed so emotionless in just the two days of school, could carry so much unknown.

Tyler stopped playing when he heard the door trying to be opened. He closed the lid carefully, petting the wood as Oliver and Adam appeared in the room again holding two brown bags. 

“Aren't you gonna eat?” Oliver asked plopping down on the floor as Adam took a seat on an old desk.

Tyler nodded, opening his backpack and pulling out the apple. Just as he was about to take a bite out of it, Oliver snatched it away from him, a look of disgust etched onto his face as he threw the apple away.

“Hey! What was that for?!” Tyler snapped, glaring up at Oliver.

“Dude! The apple was rotten! How did you not see?” Oliver scoffed, wiping his hand furiously on a protesting Adam. 

“Was it?” Tyler calmed down a little bit, still mad about it though. He should have taken his medication.

“Yes! Jesus . . . Starting next week, I will personally go to your house every morning and make you a lunch.” Oliver vowed, rummaging through Tyler's backpack before he pulled out his phone. He then put his own phone number into his phone, sending a text to his own phone, saving Tyler's contact.

Tyler shifted on the seat, fingers longing to play the keys once more. “You don't have to do it, Oliver . . . I can make my own lunch, I just have to wake up earlier.”

Oliver sighed, handing Tyler a granola bar. “Yeah, I don't buy it.” 

Tyler pouted, eating the granola bar slowly.

Oliver reached over and poked his cheeks with a plop sound. 

Both teens started laughing, Tyler covering his mouth as he did so. Tyler's phone pinged so he picked it up, tapping his mother's contact.

10:33  
Hey hon, your brother is currently in the E.R and i’m with him right now with your brother and sister so we won't be home until really late. Your father is also working late so do you think you can stay at a friends house until i can pick you up?

Tyler bit his lip, glancing at Oliver and Adam who were now talking about meeting up after school somewhere. So he couldn't ask them.

12:34  
Yeah mom. I’ll see you later

12:34  
Love you!

Tyler tucked his phone away in his pocket, downing the rest of his granola before throwing the wrapper away. So far, the food was settling in his stomach just fine. Now he began to wonder who could he stay with? He decided not to be a bother to anyone. He just couldn't ask anyone he didn't know to stay at their house. He would just wait outside his house and wait.

There, he wouldn't be a useless body in the way of a household. There, he could be washed by the rain, screaming endlessly for the pain that was never going to stop.

Tyler snapped out of it as the bell rang and he wondered how lunch had gone by so fast. He grabbed his backpack and waved goodbye to Adam as he and Oliver strolled to P.E, Tyler absolutely drained of life even though he hasn't done anything.

“Do you want to hang out over the weekend at my place? Adam and Walter will be there.” Oliver asked, fiddling with his sleeve as he awaited Tyler's answer.

Tyler only shrugged, as always. “I don't know . . . I might have to stay home because my brother is sick right now.”

“Aw, I hope he feels better!” 

Tyler nodded, wincing as his stomach churned. He knew it would happen soon but not so quickly. He swallowed, his dry throat hurting. “I have to use the bathroom real quick. I’ll meet you down there.” He waved off Oliver who tried to stay, but eventually obeyed and left.

Tyler rushed into the bathroom, quickly closing the bathroom stall as he knelt down to the toilet bowl and retched. He was getting worse. It wasn't even food anymore. It was just . . . Liquid. The shivering boy heaved for a bit before he rose to his feet, placing a hand on the wall as the world stopped spinning.

“You alright in there man?” A familiar voice called out from the other end of the stall as Tyler's heart sank. 

“Y-yeah!” His voice rasped as he coughed, feeling a wave of nausea hit him. He waited until he heard the door close before coming out of the stall, wiping his mouth with a paper towel. He rinsed out his mouth of the bile like taste with water. He then splashed water on his face and looked at the mirror. 

Vision blurry with water, eyes lidded, Tyler could feel himself smile at his reflection. His face seemed distorted by the water, just like how it should be. That's how everyone sees him.

A blurryface.

Tyler left the bathroom, quickly making his way to P.E where he made it just in time. He collapsed in the seat next to Oliver, a loud sigh escaping his hoarse throat. His head was beginning to pound.

“You okay, Tyler?” His friend asked, brows knitted together in concern.

Tyler nodded. “Yeah.” he lied.

Oliver hummed, taking out his notes from yesterday. 

Tyler reached into his backpack for his notes, frowning when he pulled out his small binder and skimmed through the pages in search for his notes. He couldn't find them. He groaned, rubbing his temples, feeling a migraine come on.

“Tyler?” Oliver stood up as Tyler did as well. 

“I’m fine! I just n-need to use the restroom again.” Tyler hissed, clenching his fist against his skull.

“But you just got back from the bathroom.” 

“It was full. Didn't have time to use it. Be right back.” Tyler excused himself from the class, running to the empty locker room. He immediately sat down on the bench, fingers grasping his hair as the migraine hit at full force. Tyler felt tears drop from his eyes as he doubled over in pain and whined loudly. The migraine kicked at his skull, the throbbing pain never going down. When he tried to open his eyes, the light blinded him, which only made his headache ten times worse.

He sniffed, rubbing away his tears furiously as he leaned his forehead against the cool metal, breathing in and out in deep shaky breathes. 

He should have taken his medication.

Tyler stumbled to his feet, walking over to the sinks where he washed his face once again, with even colder water. 

He should have taken his medication. 

Tyler walked back to the gym, the migraine leaving as quickly as it had started. Problem was, it left the teen weak and tired. As he sat down next to Oliver, he couldn't help but begin to nod off every now and then.

Oliver would nudge his friend awake, scold him then turn back to his work. It had only been the second day of school, so why was Tyler so tired? Sure, Oliver was tired, but after the first two weeks of school.

Tyler looked down at his scribbled notes, frowning deeply as class ended just as fast as the day was going. It felt like everything was flying by past him while he stood stuck in a black icky tar, holding him in place. He hated it. He wanted to move along with others, to not be stuck anymore.

Him and Oliver walked to class in silence, Oliver not being able to find anything to talk about with him. Tyler nodded goodbye as Oliver left to his own respective class, leaving Tyler on his own. He sat in the back, pulled his hood over his head and lay it down on the desk, crossing his arms as he closed his eyes. The teen instantly drifted away, the teacher being a sub, not noticing or caring as they put on a random movie and let the kids do whatever they pleased.

Tyler woke up to the bell ringing, signaling for the next class. He only slept through that class too. 

He should have taken his medication.

Tyler crashed himself into Oliver's arms, the smaller boy confused with a smile.

“Well someone’s missed me” Oliver teased, ruffling the small poof of Tyler's hair. 

Tyler nodded into Oliver’s shoulder, allowing himself to dragged to music alongside Adam. “I’m so tired . . .” Tyler whined, sitting down in his chair, Oliver and Adam at either side. 

“Why?” Adam chuckled. “It's only the second day of school for you.” 

Tyler shrugged. “Didn't get much sleep last night.” 

Oliver shook his head. “I swear. I'm going to live at your house and make sure your life is all in order.”

Tyler laughed. He knew there was no way anyone could do that. He was too screwed up in the head.

Mr. Drew shushed the class, beginning the lesson while Tyler began to nod off, this time, both Adam and Oliver keeping him awake. 

Tyler wanted to go home, to lay in his bed and stare at the ceiling for hours like he always did. But he wouldn't be able to until his parents came home and that would take some time.

Kids burst out of the school building, laughing and screaming as the school bell rang, signaling the end if the school for the day. Tyler looked up at the darkened sky, rain spilling down his cheeks. He decided to get ahead of others, away from blue haired boy before he could catch up to the soaking wet teen.

Tyler strolled in the rain, kicking pebbles in his path, stepping in puddles, converse cold with water. He pushed the wet button at the crosswalk, head hanging, the small poof of his hair sticking to his forehead. The light turned green and he quickly made his way across the street, not wanting to be a bother to waiting people in cars.

With his blurry vision, he could see his empty driveway and house. The standard brown house stood high with a beautiful lawn full of life. Then there he was. Tyler sitting at the steps, head hanging, chin resting on his chest as the rain pelted his neck. Such a lovely house with such a broken boy ruining the scene.

Tyler sighed through his nose, shivering as he sank into his hoodie. The rain around him grew harder, a small water stream leading out to the road. A flash of white and blue caught the teen's attention as he stared at the two pills he spat out in the morning drifting down the road, falling into the sewers that probably held thousands of spat out pills.

Lost in thought, the teen continued to stare at his feet, only becoming aware of a presence when a dirty pair of converse stepped into his field of vision, the rain no longer hitting him. Tyler felt his eyes being drawn up, looking at the oh so familiar red umbrella and bright blue hair.

“Hey.” Josh greeted quietly, hand in pocket while the other held the umbrella over both teen's. 

“Hey . . .” Tyler replied, shoulders hunching close to his ears. 

“Get locked out your house or something?” Josh asked, looking down both sides of the street.

Tyler shook his head. “Waiting.”

“Waiting?” Josh looked down at him, confused.

Tyler nodded. “Yeah. Parents won't come home until later so I’m going to wait.” He explained, picking at the dirt under his nails.

Josh looked taken back. “Are you serious? Dude, you were planning on sitting here until god knows when?! There's supposedly going to be a lighting storm later!” 

Tyler chuckled. “Why are you freaking out? You don't even know me. First day I came to school, you pushed me into the lockers.”

“I apologized for that! You're always going to hold me against that, aren't you?” 

“Yup.”

Both teenager's laughed, the rain almost quieting down. Almost.

Josh held out his hand.

Tyler looked at it, his turn to be confused. He glanced up at Josh for clarification.

“Come on. You can stay at my place until your parents come home.” Josh smiled, the smile which made Tyler's stomach fill with butterflies.

Tyler shook his head quickly. “No. It's fine really. I can wait.” and as if the world had a grudge against Tyler, thunder rolled in the distance. 

Josh smirked. “You're going to wait in that?” 

Tyler sighed loudly, clearly defeated. “I’m all wet. I don't want to make a mess in your house.” 

“Okay, first of all, that's what she said,” Josh laughed as Tyler face palmed, a stupid smile pulling at his lips. “and secondly, you can borrow some of my clothes while yours dry. How about it?”

Tyler bit his lip, looking at Josh's hand. Without thinking, his hand brought itself onto Josh's. 

Josh smiled, the corner of his eyes crinkling as they always did. Well, Tyler assumed they did as they did it when he was around. “Let's go then!” he cbeered happily, pulling Tyler to his feet. 

Tyler chuckled, pulling his hand away as they began to walk side by side underneath the red umbrella. 

Josh hummed, glancing at Tyler with a wide grin. “Better watch out at my house. Legends say it's haunted.” he teased, sticking his tongue out. 

Tyler laughed. “You believe in ghosts?!”

Josh nodded. “Yeah! And aliens! Humans could not have built all of those weird structures.” 

Tyler held his stomach as he laughed harder, Josh following suit, only throwing his head back as laughter spilled from his mouth. “You're joking! Right?” He wiped tears from his eyes.

Josh shook his head. “Nope! I am a firm believer in the supernatural!” He grinned, clearly proud of himself.

Tyler rolled his eyes, a goofy look plastered on his face. “You're so stupid.”

“Rude!” Josh scoffed, gently nudging Tyler with his elbow. “Just wait. You're going to see a ghost at my house.”

Tyler chuckled. “I’m sure I will.” he crossed his arms, looking at the distant thunder.

Josh must have saw it too because he grabbed Tyler's sleeve and hurried him, almost breaking out into a run. After a few more minutes of walking, Josh led Tyler up onto his porch, unlocking the door.

“Welcome to my humble abode? I guess?” Josh scratched the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed by the mess his siblings left this morning. His mom would kill him if he didn't clean up. “Follow me. My room is just as bad, but you know what? That's fine.” Josh muttered the last part to himself, just loud enough for Tyler to hear.

Tyler stood in the doorway as Josh walked over to his dresser, throwing his now closed umbrella in his closet. He shifted uncomfortably, gulping down his sudden nausea. 

Josh pulled out dry clothes, handing them to Tyler who seemed to get even more uncomfortable. “You can change in the bathroom. I’ll be in the kitchen when your done. Uh . . . Want anything to eat or something?”

“Just water, please. A-and can I also borrow a sweater or something?” Tyler looked down at the clothes weirdly. After Josh nodded, handing him a red hoodie, he showed him where the bathroom was.

Tyler closed the door, quickly changing into the red t-shirt, hoodie, and black sweatpants. He stared at himself in the mirror, liking how the clothes were big, but not to big. They were just right. Little did he know, a small flutter in his heart made his pale skeletal cheeks red.

He carried the wet clothes and walked to the kitchen, avoiding the mess as best as he could. Tyler stopped when Josh handed him a cup of water. Josh was also dressed out of his school clothes. “Thanks.” he mumbled, taking the cup as Josh took the clothes from his arms. 

Josh opened a hall closet, opening the dryer and threw the clothes in, closing the lid and starting the cycle. “There you go! Um . . . You can put on t.v or something while I clean up a bit. And call my mom.” he froze when he heard a loud beep. He looked out the window to see his mom stepping out of the black Kia. 

“Or you can watch me get my ass whooped.” Josh sighed loudly, opening the door for his mother.

A short woman with short brown hair smiled and greeted her son until she saw the mess. She crossed her arms, raising a brow at Josh. “Would you like to explain yourself?” 

“Yes, and before you freak out, I have a friend over.” Josh gestured to Tyler who stood by the couch with his head hanging, shifting from foot to foot. 

Josh’s mother moved her son out of the way, Josh closing the door behind her. “Hi! I’m really sorry about this.” she laughed nervously, running a hand through her hair. “My names Laura. What's yours?” 

“Tyler Joseph.” said teen glanced at Josh, becoming more and more nervous.

“Well, Tyler, do you mind waiting here while Josh cleans up the house?”

Tyler shook his head, glancing at Josh with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Good! I’ll be picking up your brother and sisters in a little while.” Laura called from over her shoulder as she disappeared into her room. 

Josh groaned loudly, getting to work. He mumbled under his breath in frustration after stepping on another Lego. He stopped when he looked up to see Tyler helping. “You don't have to do that. You know that right?” 

Tyler nodded. “I know. I’ll feel useless if I don't help.” he said quietly, Josh barely picking it up.

“Thanks, man.” Josh smiled, the two boy's quickly cleaning up the small house. It would have taken much longer if Tyler hadn't helped, so Josh was grateful for that.

Together, they collapsed on the couch with an oof. Tyler sat curled up on the corner while Josh lay sprawled out, face buried into the soft fabric.

“I’m putting on Ancient Aliens.” Josh decided, scrambling for the remote.

“No! That show is super boring!” Tyler yelled, snatching the remote from the table.

Josh stood above Tyler, hands outstretched with a sly grin on his face.

“What are you doing?” Tyler asked, narrowing his eyes at him.

“Ancient Ali-eeee-ns” Josh drawled the world out, diving for the remote in Tyler's hands.

A scream and laughter filled the house as the two teenagers wrestled for the device. Their bodies twisted away from the other, device in hand with triumph, only to be tickled to the floor. This continued on until Josh sat on Tyler's back, the younger teen laughing breathlessly.

“Get off of me!” Tyler wheezed, trying to wiggle out of Josh’s weight.

“Nah!” Josh turned on the t.v, putting on Ancient Aliens. 

Tyler groaned, jabbing Josh's armpit with two fingers as the blue haired boy squirmed away from him, laughing like an idiot.

Tyler lay on the floor, flipping over onto his back as Josh settled himself on the couch. They said goodbye to Laura who left to pick up Josh's siblings. 

Tyler sat up, looking outside at the almost black sky. He looked at his phone, wondering when his mother would pick him up.

“I’m putting on a scary movie now.” Josh pat the couch. “Come on.”

Tyler cocked his head. “Want me to sit next to you in case you get scared?” He teased, throwing himself on the other end of the couch. 

“In case you get scared.” Josh sneered, sticking his tongue out as he put on The Exorcist. Josh turned off the lights and put some popcorn in the microwave, sliding around on the kitchen floor with his white socks.

Tyler snorted as Josh winked at him and started to dance around the island. 

“Come onnnn! I know you wa-nnnn-a!” Josh wiggled his hips, Tyler only shaking his head as he laughed.

“I think I'm good.” He tucked his feet underneath his small body, eyes drawn to the t.v screen.

“You think.” Josh scoffed, pulling the popcorn out of the microwave once he smelt burning. He sat back down, offering the popcorn to Tyler who politely refused.

Tyler sighed through his nose, sinking into the slightly bigger hoodie, not realizing he was secretly inhaling Josh's scent. He smelled good, and not even Tyler could deny it. He found himself glancing occasionally at Josh, wondering what he smelled like now.

Josh couldn't help himself from sneaking little peaks at the smaller teen next to him. He really wanted to cuddle with someone right now and Tyler looked like he would be the perfect cuddle buddy. Debby just wore too much perfume and Walter was too tall and lanky. Tyler was bony-as far as Josh could tell- and short, but still seemed to have some flesh on him.

Josh just couldn't bring himself to ask the awkward fidgeting teen. He barely knew him. Then again, the first day he met Walter they crashed at his place watching stupid movies and cuddled while eating junk food. They're very good friends to this day.

Tyler caught Josh looking so he smirked and winked, poking his tongue between his teeth in triumph as Josh choked on popcorn. 

“That's it! You owe me cuddles now!” Josh demanded, after pounding on his chest. 

Tyler sputtered. “What? I don't think so.”

“You almost killed me so it's only fair.” Josh stood up running into the hallway to grab blankets, Tyler followed him protesting.

“I don't think that's how it works.” Tyler argued, crossing his arms as Josh pulled out a puffy blanket. 

“No, I’m pretty sure that's exactly how it works.” Josh grinned.

Before the teenagers could go at it any longer, the power went out, followed by a loud boom and two screams. Tyler jumped onto Josh who held onto the blanket and the small boy for dear life as he ran into his room, slamming the door shut. Josh scrambled into the bed, Tyler never letting go of the older boy as they threw the blanket over their heads and bodies, shaking in fear.

Tyler wrapped his arms tightly around Josh's neck, legs wrapped around his middle as Josh held onto Tyler, peeking out from under the blanket.

“See! I told you my house was haunted!” Josh whispered, ducking his head under the safety of the blanket.

“It was the storm you idiot!” Tyler whisper yelled, glaring at Josh with a sneer. “You're just scared.”

Josh raised a brow. “Oh? I’m scared? So, who's the one that's currently clinging onto me?” Josh smirked as Tyler's face turned red.

“Only because the thunder was loud!” Tyler whined, trying to wiggle out of Josh's hold.

“Nope! You ain't getting away from me so easily! You still owe me cuddles!” Josh laughed as Tyler screamed with a grin, the two falling on their sides on the bed, Tyler trying his best to push Josh off of him.

Finally, Tyler gave up, sighing loudly and obnoxiously with a stupid smile.

Josh grinned as he kept his arms wrapped around Tyler's stomach, curling his body around Tyler's small frame. “I win.” 

Tyler scoffed. “Only because I let you.” he remarked, shifting uncomfortably once again. He's never cuddled with someone. “And why do you like cuddling with people?” 

Josh shrugged, resting his chin atop Tyler's head. “It makes me feel safe. I guess? I think I just miss being in the womb.”

That little comment made Tyler laugh stupid. It made him let out the laugh he hated the most. He slapped a hand over his mouth, remembering all of his demons telling him he sounded like a witch.

What Tyler didn’t expect, was for Josh to reach for his hand that trembled against his mouth. Tyler watched as Josh Dun brought Tyler's knuckles to his lips, pressing a small kiss against them. Tyler flushed red, every cell in his body screaming at him to pull away and run. He didn't.

“Don't hide your laugh from me. Mark it as a milestone that I made you laugh like that. One step closer to becoming amazing friends.” Josh muttered against his knuckles, mocha eyes looking at doe eyes. He smiled, that same smile that made Tyler's belly fill with butterflies.

Tyler nodded slowly, letting his hand fall to his side when Josh let go and reached for his phone. 

“Wanna Netflix and Chill here until the ghosts go away?” Josh offered, setting up a pillow in front of Tyler's face as he placed the device on it.

Tyler shrugged. “Sure. And ghosts don't exist.” 

“Yes they do. Now shut up because we're watching Ghost Whisper.” Josh put on said show as Tyler laughed and settled his back against Josh's front, the older teen wrapping them in the blanket. 

As the show progressed and time passed, they lay together with tangled legs and a warm fuzziness in both of their chests as they talked on and on about small little things. Such as they were born, where Tyler came from, favorite colors, favorite songs, etc. Just small little things that no one would care for but to them it meant becoming closer as friends.

Laura opened the door to darkness, getting her children into the somewhat warmer house as she closed the door and turned on the flash on her phone. “Josh? Honey? You alright?” She called up the stairs, telling her children to stay in the dark living room. She knocked gently on her son's door. When she got no response she opened the door, smiling sweetly at the scene.

Tyler and Josh lay entangled with each other, both knocked out with sleep. Tyler had his cheek resting atop of Josh's chest, his arms draped across his chest. The older boy had his arms wrapped around the younger protectively. With the blankets covering their legs, Laura could only assume they were tangled together.

Laura felt awful but Tyler needed to get home before his family would get worried. She walked over to them, looking at Josh's phone screen that was long turned off. She sent a quick text to Kelly Joseph, Tyler's mother. Kelly said she would be there in a few minutes.

“Josh . . . It's time for Tyler to leave.” Laura gently nudged her son awake, Josh muttering nonsense as his eyes fluttered open. 

“What?” Josh mumbled, rubbing his eyes of sleep.

“Tyler has to get ready to leave.” Laura told him, gesturing to the sleeping boy.

Josh whined, burying his face in Tyler's hair. “Does he have to go?”

Laura nodded. “Yes. Now wake him up.” she walked out of the room, leaving the two teenagers.

Josh whined even more, carefully shaking Tyler's arm. “Wake up, man.”

Tyler turned in his sleep, mumbling words among the lines of “Five more minutes.”

Josh hung his head and chuckled. “Wake up-pppp-ppp.” He cooed sleepily, nudging Tyler's arm.

Tyler yawned, eyes half lidded as he turned on his back and looked up at Josh. “What . . .? Medicine time . . .?” he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

Josh shook his head. “You gotta go. Your parents are picking you up.” he stood up, stretching his arms high above his head. “I’ll go get your clothes . . .” he mumbled, stepping out in the now lit house. 

Josh grabbed Tyler's now dry clothes, stumbling back to his room where Tyler lay fast asleep. “Wake up . . .sleeping beauty.” he threw his clothes at him.

Tyler frowned in his sleep, turning on his side. 

Josh sighed, picking the sleeping boy up like a bride, Tyler opening his eyes slowly. “Hey . . . Can you grab your clothes?” Tyler nodded, reaching over for his stuff before resting his head back against Josh's chest, sighing through his nose.

“You're so warm . . . Don't wanna leave.” Tyler yawned, glancing at his mother talking to Laura, backpack in hand. 

Josh set Tyler down on his feet, the two barely standing, sleep weighing heavily on their shoulders. 

“Hi, Ty. Ready to go home?” Kelly spoke softly.

Tyler shook his head, still stepping towards his mother. “Bye Jishwa . . .” Tyler mumbled, hugging Josh before his mother guided him to the car, thanking Laura and Josh from over her shoulder.

Josh waved, hoping Tyler would see. He didn't. He expected that. It wasn't until he collapsed in his bed he felt the fuzziness in his chest grow as he recalled the nickname Tyler had called him. The boy with bright blue hair smiled to himself as sleep quickly overtook him, that small little smile that made Tyler's heart flutter with life sewn onto his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Did not expect for people to like this piece of crap! So in return, here's a little New Year's eve present thingy from where I am. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter and I will try to post a new chapter next week! Thank you guys!  
> Yourlocaltherapyfren, signing out.  
> ||--//


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *vomit warning!*  
> Read till "As they walked into the main gym," to "Then teen stumbled out of the stall"

Tyler awoke in his bed, blankets thrown onto him. He sat up in bed and looked at the clock that flashed 6:27. It was Friday. He found that odd but remembered he had started school on Wednesday due to some complications. 

As his hands reached up to rub his eyes, he stopped and stared at the red hoodie he wore. He doesn't own one. It clicked. He was wearing Josh Dun’s clothes. Tyler felt his cheeks grow hot as he threw them off, dressing in his own cold ones. He wasn't going to lie when he said he didn't miss the warmth and smell of the hoodie.

Tyler lay back down, grabbing his phone from his nightstand to see what was happening with the world. He scrolled through the news feed, scrolling through endless articles about useless things. He felt like talking to someone. But who and what would he even say. He sighed, scratching his wrists with that all too familiar itch.

Tyler frowned, brows coming together. He stood up, padding downstairs and into the kitchen where his medication awaited in the cupboards.

“Tyler?”

The teen jumped in surprise as he spun around and faced his mother. “H-hi, mom.” he squeaked, frantic breath calming down. 

“What are you doing up?” Kelly asked, tying her robe.

“Taking my medicine.” Tyler answered, catching the sad look that fell across her face. 

“Speaking of that. You have an appointment later today.”

Tyler froze. “Why?”

“Your father saw you weren't looking any better so he called Dr. Callahan. You don't have to go to school if you don't want to. Either way, I would have to pick you up early.” Kelly spoke softly, reaching out to stroke her son's cheek. Instead, he stepped away from her, head hanging.

“I’ll go to school . . . What time do I have to leave?” Tyler's stomach sank, fingers clutching onto the fabric of his shirt.

“At 11:30. So in the middle of one of your classes.”  
Tyler nodded. “Do I still have to take my medicine?”

“It would be best, yes. I'm sorry, hun.” Kelly spoke the truth as she waddled back to her room, leaving her son.

Tyler stared outside at the black sky, a gentle rain pelting the window. He took out one white   
and one blue pill, downing both of them with a quick sip of water. At least he wouldn't be tired or angry for the day.

Tyler pulled out his phone, settling himself on the couch. His fingers twitched, longing to type to someone. The longer he sat on the couch, the more he recalled the memories he spent with the Josh Dun. The warmth and flutter in his heart spread throughout his body. He stood, striding to his room, gingerly lifting the red hoodie from the cold floor.

The boy lay on his bed, curling around the fabric, inhaling the scent of Vanilla. His cheeks grew hot, smiling stupidly to himself, the memories of last night seeping into his mind. What he would give to cuddle with Josh once more. The big arms holding him close, pearly white teeth grinning, hot breath slightly tingling his neck, mocha eyes looking at him sweetly, soft lips pressed against knuckles.

Tyler slipped on the hoodie, nuzzling the soft fabric. He sighed deeply, reaching into the drawer for the phone numbers, but stopped. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't know why, but he just wouldn't. His head found its way back to his pillow, body curling around another pillow he was currently hugging. It would never beat Josh Dun's cuddles however.

He watched time go by, eyes locked on the clock, waiting for his normal time to get up. Tyler knew what was happening. He needed to stop before he fell too deep and broke the remaining strand of sanity he had left. 

Eventually, the time came to get ready for school, which meant Tyler had to give back Josh his clothes back. He kind of hoped he could have kept the hoodie longer. The teen dressed as normal, black jeans and a black hoodie with a white t-shirt underneath. 

Tyler grabbed his phone, shoving it in his pocket as he went downstairs, walking over to the couch to where his backpack had been tossed. The red rubber band had found its way back onto his wrist. As he walked into the kitchen, his mother walking out into the living room, he looked out the window at the gentle rain. 

Tyler shoved a small pack of fruit snacks in his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Do you want me to drive you?” his mother offered, tying her hair in a loose ponytail.

Before Tyler could answer ‘no', his eyes were drawn to the two silhouettes underneath that familiar red umbrella. He prayed and prayed it wasn't who he thought it was but everything came crashing down when bright blue hair and blonde hair came into view. Josh and Debby looked so happy as they held hands, Debby talking about whatever as Josh listened and nodded.

The snap of the rubber band echoed in the kitchen.

“Yeah. Please.” Tyler answered his mothers previous question, stepping away from the window, out of the kitchen. “Just let me go get something real quick.” he fled upstairs, shoving Josh's clothes in a drawstring bag, the pain in his heart spreading out throughout his body, the emptiness clawing at him.

Tyler fiddled with his rubber band as him and his mother entered the car, his mother turning on the radio to some pop song with nonsense words. 

“Tyler? You okay, hun? You know you can stay home.” His mother spoke softly, glancing at him. 

The teen shook his head. “I have to give something back . . . And I’m fine.” 

“You know, I think it's about time you have your own car, don't you think?” Laura said with a smile and gleeful tone laced in her voice. 

Tyler shrugged. “Didn't dad say that I am quote on quote ‘irresponsible’?” 

Laura shrugged. “Your dad says all kinds of things but doesn't really mean it. I guess we'll just have to see.” She smiled, Tyler forcing a smile before staring down at his covered up wrists. 

Whatever his parents had planned, and Tyler had a pretty good feeling on what it was, he knew he didn't deserve it. His dad didn't trust him with their own car so why would he trust him with his very own car? It didn't seem right.

As the school building entered the view, kids rushed in, the rain overhead falling harder. Out if the corner of his eye, he could see the blob of the red umbrella. He felt like puking. 

“I’ll see you in a little while hon! Have fun and be on your best behavior. Love you!” Tyler closed the door with a weak smile. 

Tyler hung his head as he quickly jogged to the school, mostly to get out of the rain but to also avoid Josh and Debby. With his eyes drawn forward, head down, he accidentally pushed past kids, apologizing as best as he could. He rushed over to locker, shoving useless things into the metal box.

“Hey, Tyler! I want you to meet someone!” Oliver threw his arms around the surprised teen. “This is my brother, Alex .” 

Tyler looked at the blonde haired boy, pale skinny fingers reaching out to shake his hand. Tyler accepted. “I’m Tyler.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, Oliver never shuts up about you and it's only been three days.”

Oliver flicked his younger brothers head. “That's because Tyler is better than you.”

“Why don't you marry him already then?”

“Because my heart belongs to Walter.”

Tyler smiled at the brotherly banter. He would totally mess with his own brother Zach if he wasn't such a sore loser.

“Whatever. It's nice finally meeting the famous Tyler.” Alex said, crossing his arms, looking at the clock. “Time for us to go to class.” 

“You already know where to meet us?” Oliver asked, Alex nodding and hurrying off to the sophomore hall.

“How come I’ve never met him until now?” Tyler asked, walking right next to Oliver.

“Well, he was . . . Going through some things. But he's better now!” Oliver smiled, yet Tyler could see the pain in his eyes.

Tyler nodded, not pushing the touchy subject. “Oh yeah. I’ll be leaving early. Sometime during P.E.”

Oliver gasped. “What?! Why? Don't leave me!” he clung to Tyler's shoulder, ignoring the small flock of jocks laughing at them and calling them names. 

“I have a doctors appointment.” Tyler shrugged, not lying. 

Oliver sighed loudly, collapsing in his chair once they made it to their class. “I can't believe you're leaving me in this hell hole. And it's Friday!” 

Tyler chuckled, thankful for his medicine not making him in pissy mood. “More time for me in the weekend.”

“You ass.” Oliver sneered, the two laughing and quieting down as the teacher entered the room.

Class ended as always and Tyler was left to suffer in the next class by himself. As usual, he pulled out his notebook and began scribbling words down, jotting everything that came to mind down onto the blank paper. 

Tyler glanced up at the time, mind blown at how fast time had flown by. He looked down at his paper and looked at the side of his hand smeared in ink. He chuckled to himself at that. He packed things away as the bell rang, kids filing out to go to the cafeteria. 

Before Tyler could even get a few good steps into the hallway, he was pushed down to the floor, red backpack spilling it contents. “Good job there, Josh! Teach that fag a lesson!” a jock laughed loudly as Debby and Josh strolled by, Josh glancing back with an apologetic look in which Tyler could not see.

Tyler sat up, rubbing the side of his head. 

“Tyler! Are you okay?!” Oliver rushed over to him, helping the teen gather his stuff. 

Tyler nodded as he snapped his band. “I’m fine.” he forced a smile, shoving notebooks into his bag. 

Oliver frowned, Adam appearing next to them, picking up loose pencils and pens, handing them to Tyler who only threw them in the backpack.

Oliver helped his friend to his feet, glaring at the direction of the jocks, Adam yelling curses down the hall. 

Tyler snapped his band, walking towards the direction of the piano room, being followed by Adam and Oliver, Oliver sending a quick text on his phone.

“You guys don't have to follow me, you know that right?” Tyler looked over his shoulder. 

“But we want to! I wanna spend time with you before you leave me with this edgelord.” Oliver joked, Adam scoffing as he opened the door, making sure no one was looking. 

They all filed in, laughing and joking as they sat down, Tyler taking a seat at the piano.

“Do you know how to play?” Adam asked, pointing to the piano.

Tyler shook his head. “I wish.” he lied.

Oliver pouted. “You seemed so hopeful about it that I thought you knew how to play.”

Tyler shrugged. “I really want to practice . . . I mean it can't be that different from a keyboard, right?” 

“You play the keyboard?” Adam asked. 

Tyler nodded and jumped when a knock could be heard from the door. 

Oliver and Adam quickly let Alex in, making sure no one had seen.

“Wow . . . Isn't that different from my therapists room.” Alex joked in the most monotone voice Tyler had ever heard.

Oliver only sighed, shaking his head. “Let's not joke about that.”

“Why not? It's not like you were the one stuck in a stuffy for hours on end.” Alex retorted, scratching his arm continuously.

Oliver shut his mouth after that, just gently patting his hand, a signal for Alex to stop scratching.

Alex obliged. “So . . . What are we doing here?” 

All four teenagers began to instantly talk to each other, either screaming or laughing at stupid little things that were said. They continued to do so until the bell rang, in which all of them groaned in unison. 

“I’ll see you guys on Monday probably. Though I live with this monkey and now apparently have to see two more.” Alex grinned as Adam growled. “See ya guys on the flip side.” He waved them goodbye, Adam leaving them as well. 

“You're going to leave and so soon!” Oliver cried, throwing his arms around Tyler. “Don't leave me!” 

The brunette chuckled and slightly pushed Oliver off. His stomach churned and he cringed. Why? He hadn't even eaten anything. Maybe that was why. 

As they walked into the main gym, Tyler quickly excused himself and rushed to the locker rooms, being closer than the occupied restroom. He accidentally pushed by someone he couldn't see as he practically kicked open the stall door, letting it slam behind him as he retched the same liquid as yesterday.

Tyler shook, staring at it in disbelief. Why? He had taken his medication this time! He wasn't supposed to be puking like this. Maybe he really was getting worse. But how could his father have possibly known? Tyler flushed the toilet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

The teen stumbled out of the stall and walked over to the sink, washing both his hands and face.

“Hey . . . You alright?” 

Tyler dried off the water and snapped his band. “I’m fine.” he looked at Josh. 

“Didn't sound like it.” Josh uncrossed his arms, pushing himself off the lockers, handing Tyler a water bottle. 

Tyler shook his head. “I said I was fine. Oh, here.” He opened his drawstring bag and shoved the clothes in Josh's arms. “I had to give them back before I left.”

“Left? Where?” Josh seemed to have a tone of urgency in his voice but that couldn't be right.

“I have a doctors appointment and I leave in a few minutes.” 

Josh nodded, sighing in relief. “Oh uh, thanks for giving me my clothes back.” he gestured to said clothes.

“Yeah. No problem.” Tyler snapped his band, pushing past Josh harshly.

“I’m sorry.” Josh called out. 

Tyler didn't want to hear it. He went back out to the main gym, sitting next to Oliver. All he wanted to do was leave already. He kept checking his phone, waiting for the time to come. The sad, panicked look on Josh's face kept crossing his mind, making Tyler feel that horrible feeling of dread that ate away at him.

“Joseph! Get your stuff, you're leaving early.” Coach yelled, Tyler rushing to his feet, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, saying goodbye to Oliver quietly before leaving the gym, ignoring the look on Josh's face.

Tyler stepped out into the light rain, running over to his mother's car, where Kelly just opened the car. He got in the passenger's seat, sighing through his nose as his mother got in the driver's seat, letting the car drive.

They sat in silence, the car radio playing a random pop song as always. Tyler looked out the car window, knees being rested against the dashboard. Tyler had nothing to say and neither did his mother. What could they even say? Tyler would be in that cold office room for a few hours tops, talking endlessly until a new medicine was prescribed for him. He wondered what the side effects would be this time. 

The teenager scratched at his fading scars. Scratching the scabs of his new ones. He needed to make more. His wrist were begging for him not to, though his mind said otherwise. The screams never stopped. He needed to scream. To scream for help. To ask if anyone was listening. To help him.

“You okay, hon?” Kelly glanced at her emotionless son, her stomach churning at how empty he looked.

Tyler only nodded in response.

He lied.

Soon, they parked the car, stepping out and rushing under the cover of the psychiatry office. All thoughts fled his body as they approached the counter with a tired middle aged woman who checked them in, telling them to sit and wait.

They sat in the cold room. Tyler recognized some of the patients. That was only because he had been here for so long as with all the others. In one corner, a shaking girl pulled at her hair, bags hanging from her brown chocolate eyes. In another, a boy with a white sheet over his head and chest would be lightly pounding his head against the wall, if he were here today. A girl paced back and forth the hall, eyes darting everywhere as if something were watching her.

Then there was Tyler. A seventeen year old with baggy eyes. Messy hair. Pale skin. Bony body. Scars littering his skin. Stomach nearly gone. Sanity hanging by a thread. An empty shell with demons that screamed endlessly. He sat in the room of ‘freaks’, as other people would call them. But to him, they seemed the most normal to him.

The doors opened, a father dragging his about sixteen year old daughter to the front desk. The tired lady and father talked quietly as the pink haired girl tore her arm from her father's grasp. She turned her head, revealing the left side of her head buzzed down. The thing that caught Tyler's attention, was her cheek. She had chewed right through it.

The girl walked over to the vending machine, growling in frustration and kicked the metal box as it didn't take her money. She stormed over to where Tyler sat and dropped her body weight onto the chair next to him.

“What you in for?” She asked, biting skin off her fingers. 

Tyler looked at her. “Being crazy.”  
“Aren't we all?” she huffed with a laugh.

“What about you?” Tyler asked, sitting a bit closer.

“Can't feel much of nothing anymore. ‘cept for my love of girls. Damn! My step douche over there caught me with one of my lady friends.” She sneered, flipping off her step dad who glared at her.

Tyler felt his mother tense up next to him. That’s right. Loving the same sex was a sin in the eyes of God. 

“Name's Sam.”

“Tyler.” 

They shook hands, Sam’s fingers dripping small droplets of blood.

“Tyler Joseph? Dr. Callahan will see you now.”

“Hey.”

Tyler looked at Sam.

“Don't let them get in here.” She put a finger to her head, a stone cold look set in place.

Tyler nodded, turning his back to her before being led by a nurse in blue. She brought him to the usual office. 

“Hello there, Tyler. Take a seat please.” Dr. Callahan smiled, gesturing to the leather chair that Tyler knew by heart. 

Tyler sat down, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket, looking out the window.

“I haven't seen you in a while. Where did we last leave off?” She skimmed through her notes, but Tyler knew she already knew the answer. She just wanted him to answer.

“Blurryface.”

Dr. Callahan nodded. “Has he talked to you since we last met up?”

Tyler shook his head. It was true. It was like he suddenly disappeared. But, Tyler knew that he was waiting for the perfect moment.

“Have you been eating well? Like our three meal plan?”

Tyler shook his head. He couldn't lie. She would know.

Dr. Callahan scribbled down notes. “You're father says you look like you haven't been sleeping well. Is that true?”

Tyler shrugged. 

“Can you explain?”

“I don't know. The last time I slept well was yesterday.”

“Why yesterday?”

“I made a new friend, I guess. He invited me to his house and we both fell asleep together.”   
Tyler picked at the loose thread on the couch. He tried not to smile at the memories. Josh did hurt him today.

“Can you tell me more about this friend?”

Tyler shrugged. “I don't know if I would call him my friend.”

“Well, why not?”

“He’s a jock at my school so he punks me around. He says it's because of his friend that makes him and he apologizes for it but he did it again today and I don't know anymore.” This was possibly the most he’s ever talked in one go.

“Did he hurt you today?” 

Tyler nodded.

“Tell me what happened yesterday.”

“My brother, Jay, got food poisoning so he had to go to the E.R and my dad was working late so Josh offered for me to stay at his house for a little while.”

“Is Josh your friends name?”

Tyler nodded. “I fell asleep with him while watching Netflix. I had to leave though because my mom picked me up but when I got home I slept better.”

Dr. Callahan never took the pen off the pad of paper. “Why did you also sleep better when you got home?”

Tyler shrugged. “I don't really know. I mean, I was wearing his hoodie but I doubt that had anything to do with it.”

“Would you sleep with him again?”   
In the inside, Tyler was laughing at how dirty it sounded and he kept denying it, but on the outside he remained stone faced. He shrugged. “I don't know. It felt nice. I guess.” he scratched at his wrists, which effectively caught Dr. Callahan’s attention.

“A different topic. Sorry for suddenly changing it. But, have you cut recently?”

Tyler shook his head. He lied.

“Have you been having urges to do so?”

Tyler nodded.

“Has the rubber band been helping?” 

Tyler nodded.

This went on for about two hours, Dr. Callahan finally setting aside her pad of notes, taking off her glasses. All thought fled Tyler's body, the screaming in his head quieting down so he could hear every word she had to say.

“Okay, Tyler, we’re going to have you start on a new kind of sleeping pill. It will make you feel drowsy once you wake up, but you will sleep for a full eight hours without any disruptions. It would be best to take half a pill on a school day, and a whole pill on the weekend. No more than one pill.” Dr. Callahan ripped out a paper full of information and stood.

“Let's go talk with your mom. On Tuesday I would like for us to talk more about your friend.” She smiled, handing him a red lollipop in which Tyler gladly took. As they left her office, Sam also came out of another office, being dragged along by her step dad. 

Sam looked at him, the same empty eyes Tyler always wore, boring into his. She mouthed the words help me.

Dr. Callahan spoke his mother, Tyler watching Sam being whisked away, droplets of crimson falling down onto the white marble floor. 

Kelly nodded, thanking Dr. Callahan as she gingerly took the paper, walking towards the doors, followed by Tyler. She started the car, Tyler sitting in the passenger seat. They took off, the car radio playing silently. “Do you want me to drop you off at home or do you want to come with me to the store? I have to pick up a few groceries and your medicine.”

“You can just drop me off at home.” Tyler said, fidgeting with his rubber band. He just needed to lock himself in his room. He didn't want to see or talk to anyone at the moment.

Kelly nodded, taking her sons silence as a sign. She herself also stayed quiet, the paper prescription lingering in her pocket. She parked just by the side, allowing Tyler to get out. She handed him the copy of the house key, telling him that she would be right back.

Tyler shut the car door, waving her goodbye as the car soon became a blob in the distance. He looked up, rain drizzling down his cheeks, the droplets decorating his hoodie. He glanced to the right, seeing the red blur waiting at the crosswalk. He hung his head and walked up the porch steps, unlocking the door, slamming it shut once inside. 

The teen slid down the door, head in hands. He didn't understand why he was being so emotional. That was a funny word considering he could barely feel anything. There was a painful strike that pierced his heart every time he saw that stupid umbrella. At the very thought of Josh. 

A second later, he was sobbing uncontrollably. Tears fell into or past his hands, fingers clenching his hair. His shoulders shook as he hiccuped with sobs. He didn't know why he started crying. It didn't make sense. What would there even be sad about? His sanity? His poor mental state? He only laughed at those faults.

Or were they Blurryface yelling at him?

Tyler couldn't tell much of anything anymore. He sniffed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He stumbled to his feet, making his way to his room where he collapsed on his bed, curling his small body around his pillow. Arms held onto the fabric tightly, everything shaking.

His eyes shut, eyelids seeming to be glued shut as they didn't open for a while. In his head, all   
crazy thoughts, all empty thoughts, ran hundreds of miles. They always did this. Just as he was about to fall asleep, every single time, his thoughts and screaming increased so much more.

Then, as if his mind couldn't possibly get any worse, it all slowed down as Josh Dun came into his mind. To when he first pushed him into the lockers, to pushing him to the floor, to extending his hand out, to tickling him, laughing with him, talking to him, kissing his knuckles. Each and every memory flashed in his eyes, making sure his chest overflowed with an unknown pain.

Soon, it became unbearable. He tried and tried to pry open his eyes but Blurryface kept them closed. He wanted Tyler to suffer.

“Tyler! Time for dinner!” His mother called out, Zach setting up the plates and cups.

Tyler awoke, wiping away his tears as he sat up. He got up, trudging his way downstairs and into the kitchen, taking his usual seat. He couldn't believe he had been ‘asleep' for so long. Josh Dun lingered in his mind as he picked at his food.

Blurryface wouldn't let him eat. Or was that just him? 

Tyler stirred his green peas, some rolling onto his mashed potatoes. “I’m going to go for a walk later . . . Is that alright?” He asked quietly, his father grunting in response. 

“Of course, hon. Just be back before eight. You know the rules.” Kelly chided, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Thanks, mom.” He offered his plate to his youngest sibling, Jay, who gladly took it. Being seven must be great. He thanked his parents for dinner, even though he didn't even eat. He did sit at the table for about six minutes which was an accomplishment for him.

A new hoodie was thrown onto him, along with a gray beanie. The doe eyed teen opened the door, saying goodbye as he left the house, the door slamming shut behind him.

Outside, the rain had finally ceased, dark fluffy clouds covering the night sky. Tyler shoved his hands into his pocket, shoulders hunched toward his ears. The sound of his footsteps making contact with the cement wet with rain somewhat calmed Tyler down, the voices in his head quieting down.

A new medication. A sleeping pill in which it would cease Blurryface’s return. Blurryface hadn't made an appearance just yet, he only made Tyler sit and suffer the memories of Josh. He hated it. He needed to avoid Josh until Blurryface went back to sleep.

His feet took down the familiar path, passing by empty or closed vendors, passing by the park that sit silently in the dead of night. The swing set creaked occasionally with the small gust of wind that blew past. Tyler thought about sitting down for a while, until he saw the water that dripped down from the seat of the swing.

Later. He told himself, continuing his little journey to the large forest he loved so much. Soon, Tyler found himself far from civilization, standing at the edge of the looming forest. 

A large gust of wind hit the teen, the trees shaking violently. Leaves fell all around him as he opened his lips and screamed.  
“IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?!” 

“Hey, honey! How was your walk?” His mother greeted Tyler at the door, Tyler kicking off his shoes. 

“It was okay.” He shrugged, shuffling to the kitchen. The bag of medicine lay on the counter. “I know my alarm clock isn't going to wake me up so can you wake me up, mom?”

“Of course. You have to be there before eight, right?”

“Mhm. I have to open up.” Tyler sighed, opening the pill bottle with ease. He took out the small white pill, staring at it in the palm of his hand. Tyler placed it in his mouth, downing it with water. 

Tyler sighed, putting everything away. “Night mom . . .” He muttered, trudging upstairs.

“Goodnight! Tyler . . .” Kelly whispered, her hand going to her heart. She missed her son who smiled everyday. Who loved everything. Who didn't have a care in the world. 

Tyler shut his door, collapsing on his bed. He didn't even have it in him to write. Not even think at this point. Had the medication taken its toll so quickly or had he just been really tired.

As he curled around his pillow, Tyler imagined himself laying his head on Josh's chest, arms draping over him as Josh held him closely. These were things Tyler was afraid of. Yet he couldn't stop his mind from conjuring these insane thoughts up. 

Yes, Tyler never should be thinking about laying or cuddling with Josh again, he couldn't deny that it did feel nice. It felt safe. In his embrace, the feeling of Josh's soft lips on his hand, it made all dark feeling go away. It made Blurryface quiet and sleep for longer.

It made Tyler feel normal.

Josh belonged with someone else. He was perfectly happy with Debby. He would never look at Tyler besides as a friend. Nothing more. Tyler knew that. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he even considered Josh a friend. Josh would pick on him all because of Luke, supposedly.

Mind player. 

That's right. Josh plays with minds. Is this what Oliver had meant? That Josh would consume and take up every space in Tyler's pathetic mind space? Because it was working, and Tyler hated himself even more for it.

Tyler stared out his window, the black sky with fluffy clouds hiding all the shimmering stars. He hadn’t looked up in so long. A sudden rush of inspiration came over him as he sat up, scrambling to pull out his notebook before the words disappeared from his mind forever.

No one looks up anymore,

 

'Cause you might get a raindrop in your eye,

 

And heaven forbid, they see you cry,

 

As we fall in line

Tyler traced the lines, the small short poem looking as if it had no meaning to the human eye. But to Tyler's eye, it had a meaning only he would know. 

He shut the notebook, placing it on his bedside drawer, wondering if he would turn that piece into a song.

Music. He hadn't created anything for a while now. He didn't feel like it. Everything came out wrong anyways. Maybe soon he would create something new that he liked. Maybe.

He threw off his hoodie into the corner of his room. He wriggled out of his pants, tugging on a pair of sweats before laying back down. 

Tyler looked at all the scars he made on his arm, not feeling a single drop of remorse for himself. Instead, he felt . . . In control. He finally grasped something that he himself alone had complete control over.

No one would miss him if this flame of life were to suddenly be doused out. No one would notice. They would continue with life like it was normal. Earth had too many humans occupying its surface anyways, Tyler would be doing everyone a favor if he were to disappear off the face of earth.

He hadn't had these thoughts in a while. This time, the feeling came stronger, and Tyler took it as a sign that Blurryface would be awaking soon. 

Tyler’s eyelids grew heavy, voices quieting down as if they too had taken a sleeping pill. His eyes shut, and total darkness washed over him, another dreamless sleep settling itself in for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm insanely glad that people are actually enjoying this so far! It makes me so happy, but so mad that school is getting in the way. So, since it's Friday, here's another chapter! Let me know what you think about this one!   
> Yourlocaltherapyfren signing out.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, this is my first fan fic on this site. It is Joshler so please don't hate. Or do, I feed off of negativity. Anyways, if you liked this, go ahead and leave Kudos or let me know what you think! I would also appreciate some feedback as to know what I can improve on or fix any mistakes in this work. I will update soon (if anyone likes this that is). Anyways, I am Yourlocaltherapyfren signing out.  
> *edit*   
> I think I may have posted this work up, but that one was an error so please ignore that one and read this, sorry! First time using this site plus on my phone


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